


We're Bound to Break (and my hands are tied)

by EVVS



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Circus, Caleb doesn't know that Trent brainwashed him yet, Canon-Typical Violence, Childhood Trauma, F/F, F/M, Found Family, Gen, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Inspired by The Greatest Showman (2017), M/M, Not Canon Compliant, Slow Burn, also what if caleb fell in love with molly but really slowly, basically: if Caleb was a magic cop and the Mighty Nein were definitely doing illegal things, but he will most certainly find out
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-02
Updated: 2018-09-01
Packaged: 2019-07-05 15:58:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15866925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EVVS/pseuds/EVVS
Summary: Caleb Widogast, an apprentice at the Soltryce Academy, is sent to investigate the use of illegal magic at The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities. He finds more there than he expected...(Inspired by The Greatest Showman)





	We're Bound to Break (and my hands are tied)

**Author's Note:**

> The Rules of Magic:  
> 1) Offensive magic is meant for war. Thereby, it should not be used against others in crowded spaces or without supervision by crownsguard or an appropriate Soltryce Academy mage.  
> 2) Healing magic should only be used in emergency situations under supervision of the crownsguard or an appropriate Soltryce Academy mage.  
> 3) Magic as means of production of food, water, coins, or other goods is strictly prohibited as it may destabilize the Dwendalian Empire's economic functions.
> 
> These rules stand as a guidelines as to the illegal functions of magic and may be expanded as the Dwendalian Empire and the Soltryce Academy see fit.

“We’ve come across a possible problem in Trostenwald.”

Caleb’s attention was rapt to Trent as he spoke, the older man shuffling through papers and finding the right one. He handed it to his apprentice.

His eyes skimmed the page. “And this is…?”

“It’s a carnival of sorts, I presume. There appears to be the practice of uncontrolled, unsafe magic there. I’ve received a few notices of it in the past, but we finally have the resources-“ Trent’s stern eyes found Caleb. “-and people of the right mind to handle the problem.”

Caleb simply nodded.

“They’ll need to be apprehended. Gather your evidence, then we’ll round them up and put them on trial.” His words were cold and calm. “Based on the current accusations, it appears like some of them may be facing an immediate death sentence.”

Trent continued, “I’d like to think you’re a competent, capable man, Mr. Widogast.” He seemed to stare into Caleb’s soul for a moment longer before looking back down at his own papers and beginning to roll his sleeves up, taking up his quill and ink. “Do not disappoint me.”

“I will not,” assured Caleb with a curt half-bow. left his mentor’s office, closing the door carefully behind him and now taking a better look at the paper as he walked down the halls of the Soltryce Academy.

_The Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival of Curiosities: The Mightiest Show in Wildemount_

It sure sounded like a bunch of bullshit to Caleb.

* * *

It was, unfortunately, not bullshit.

This was a roving caravan of wild, thriving chaos. Large tents sprawled across the swath of land with children running between them. Adults found amusement in pockets of entertainers: some juggled fire, some swallowed swords, and others simply existed as strange, exotic beings.

Caleb felt entirely out of his element.

From what little information he’d gathered from past reports, Caleb had assumed this was some small production, something meaningless that he could shut down easily if need be.

Now he felt as though he should’ve brought along back-up.

“Curious about the future?” came a light, lilted voice behind Caleb. “Or the past, maybe?”

“ _Nein_.” He turned sharply on his heels to see a lavender tiefling standing there, shuffling cards, wearing robes seemingly made of stars and eyes like blood. Caleb swallowed hard, knowing that these kind were not readily accepted in Rexxentrum. Or many other places for that matter.

“Really?” The tiefling’s head tilted, and its horns, adorned with jewelry, jingled slightly with the movement. “You do seem like an awfully curious man.”

Caleb chewed on his lip for a moment. He needed to be investigating magic here, after all. “Then maybe I should indulge my curiosity.”

Smile curling wider, the tiefling shuffled the cards from one hand to the other before fanning them out. “Choose your past.”

Caleb reached out a slow hand that hovered over the back of the ornate and well-worn cards until he picked one, flipping it between two fingers.

The tiefling’s red eyes sought the card, and he smiled. “The Magician.” He looked the man up and down. “There does seem to be something magical about you, friend.”

“We are not friends.” Caleb pulled his jacket a bit tighter around him, handing the card back to the tiefling. “I must be going.”

Side-stepping to keep up with Caleb as he began to walk away, the tiefling offered out the fanned cards again. “C’mon now, there’s time ‘til the show. Pull the second card. Your future.”

Caleb sighed. He dropped the tension in his shoulders. He pulled his second card.

“Death.” The blood red eyes flickered rapidly between the man and the card. “It doesn’t really mean-“

“They are just cards.” Caleb slid the card back in the deck, pushing them back towards the tiefling. “You are just a sideshow. And this-“ He gestured to the crowds and tents and people. “This is a waste of my time.”

He pulled his jacket even tighter around himself and let his head drop, watching the ground as he walked away briskly. This wasn’t worth it. He had more important things to be worrying about.

As he walked away, he heard the same voice behind him, a little less light this time, ask, “Curious about your future?”

* * *

Sitting inside the main tent, there was a mess of folks, mostly halflings and half-elves with what looked like a couple of dwarves. It was not big, but big enough that Caleb already felt a little lost. He was very used to interacting one-on-one with other mages. Classes for him were rarely ever what one would usually consider schooling.

The seats were all in the dirt with a few benches that looked fairly new on the outskirts of the tent. So far, it seemed devoid of any actual performers except a half-elven man with long, ashy brown hair and a coat that fell all the way down to his ankles. He greeted people at the door, even offering a hand to Caleb when he walked in, which was politely ignored.

But now, having taken a seat next to whom appeared to be a halfling father and daughter, he settled his eyes at the center of the ring where the half-elven man had taken what appeared to be his rightful place, holding a curved blade as if it were a cane. “Ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between, welcome to the Fletching and Moondrop Traveling Carnival!”

Claps and cheers rose from the crowd, soft and uncertain.

Seemingly noticing this, the man at the center of the ring flipped the blade, and halfway through, it vanished in the air with a slight splash. “I am Gustav Fletching, and we have a wonderful show for you tonight! Mystical tales from Tal’dorei, stories of the Feywild!” He approached the crowd with slow steps. “And even acts from the Abyss.”

Gasps came from the younger members of the crowd, and the man, satisfied, stepped back towards the center of the ring. “But to start the night, we will witness-“

“We will witness!” came the exact same voice from somewhere high above, impossible to see.

The man at the center of the stage seemed shocked; Caleb assumed it was feigned. Still, he continued, “We will witness the greatest singer in Wildemount!”

“In Wildemount!”

Now the crowd’s eyes were searching the shadows in the top of the tents, looking for the source of the echo. And slowly, in the darkness, there appeared to be a small, dark, and feathered being slowly being lowered into the center ring by a rope with some pink ribbon braided into it. Now, instead of echoing Gustav, the small voice was singing some tune loud enough to fill the whole space with a beautiful, solemn sound.

A second voice came from the ground now, where instead of the ringmaster, stood a young girl with the looks and voice of an angel. She and the bird found a soft harmony, one in black, one in white, filling the entire space with one of the most beautifully haunting tunes that Caleb had ever heard. The words were of war and loss, but the most haunting part of it was the soft echo of it from the dark raven child, just slightly behind, making it all the more aching.

Caleb felt it in the pit of his stomach, the words like vibrations in his bones. His eyes were on his hands folded in his lap, some of the burn scars still white on his skin.

He found himself stuck in his own head for a few moments, and when Caleb looked up again, the ringmaster had taken to the center again, thanking the applauding crowd. His words came out louder than before as if with some newly regained confidence.

Gustav then waved his curved sword towards the open flap, introducing the next act.

* * *

There was silence as the tent was emptied of another act once more, and darkness fell as did the small torches of continual flame that had apparently been cast throughout the tent. He had detected those to be magic when he first walked in, but light was a necessity. It was not a waste. This couldn’t be what the reports were about.

Then there was a soft _whoosh_ noise from above where Caleb remembered previously seeing the little raven girl with the echoing voice. But he knew she’d walked away, and there didn’t appear to be any other way in and out of the main tent that wasn’t in full view.

The quiet fell again, and the crowd started murmuring until there was another _whoosh_ through the air. Then the lights came up, one at a time, revealing two bodies flying through the air on a system of thick, taut ropes and bars with no net below them.

Caleb recognized one of the forms immediately. The purple tiefling from before, now without the jacket made of stars, but instead wearing a formfitting white shirt and billowing brown pants. He swung through the air with a brown-haired, brown-skinned woman in all blue, who seemed plenty frustrated but not struggling as she held onto the tiefling’s ankles. Her bare abdomen showed absolute control as she curled her body and seemed to aim as she threw the tiefling at another swinging bar. Caleb’s heart leapt to his throat until he saw the tiefling’s clawed hand clutch at the bar and curl himself forward as if on a swing, propelling himself towards a small platform that Caleb recognized as the one that the little raven girl had come down from earlier.

At the center of the ring, holding a softly glowing torch, Gustav started to spin a tale of a man who would always take one step too close to Xhorhas and come back unscathed until one day, he did not return. And as Gustav Fletching finished those words, the lights went out on the side of the tent that the tiefling was on, plunging half the audience into absolute darkness.

There were murmurs from the crowd, some children crying in fear that the purple man was gone forever, lost to the shadows.

From one of the dark corners of the tent, almost from behind the back of the benches, a streak of light flew through the air, striking the man and causing him to cry out in pain, only for a second later for him to be glowing dimly in the darkness. He hung from a rope, his hand locked in the loop as he dangled precariously in the air.

To Caleb, he looked like a ghost.

Gustav’s liquid voice flowed through the air, speaking of how the young man was lost and how children should never stray from their families and that war will only cost lives in the end.

Above, the softly glowing man began to move and sway, gaining momentum until he could swing back to the woman in blue at the other end of the tent. And then they vanished as the lights started to dim again, allowing Gustav to take center stage again in full light, his head tilted off to one side as he surveyed the audience as if trying to take it all in for the first time.

Now Caleb realized what kind of magic they were utilizing. The lights weren’t a problem. It was what pain they’d seemed to inflict on the tiefling, whatever made him glow like that wasn’t something harmless. The performer seemed fine with the pain, and in that moment, Caleb recalled the man from earlier and how, at just the edges of his collarbone, he was decorated in thin, light purple scars. This could’ve been from years of torture or just days, but that? That called for an intervention.

He decided he would talk with Gustav after the show to ascertain the nature of how this place was run. This was certainly something the Soltryce Academy needed to hear about.

* * *

The show ended with some woman lifting a sum of weights that was definitely impossible for Caleb to even fathom touching, and he’d spent the last few moments at the flaps of the tent, ready to leave and hopefully follow Gustav.

He followed comfortably behind the man who made his sword vanish with just a flick of his wrist, leaving a splash of water where it once was. When Caleb walked past that same spot in his silent pursuit, the dirt below his feet was damp.

Most of the carnival’s residents seemed to be milling about this area while others were probably guiding the civilians from the area. There was a different air back here, less of mystery and wonder, more of… exhaustion.

A few calls rang out as Caleb moved between the tents. “Fuck! Guys, who moved my staff?!” “Yasha, get those crates moved for supper!” “You did so good tonight!” “Let’s get some healing on Molly please!” It sounded like the average sort of organized chaos that Caleb remembered from his nights at the academy. Shouts between friends.

But he knew what he was here to do.

Caleb had seen where Gustav had disappeared to and looked around the immediate vicinity before knocking on one of the crates beside the tent to at least announce his presence.

“C’mon in,” said a drawling voice with none of the smoothness that was the ringmaster.

Hesitating, Caleb pulled open the flap of the tent to see a large green gentleman who was most certainly not Gustav shrugging off some leather hide armor while facing away from Caleb. “Uh, I was looking for Gustav.”

When the man spun around, his golden eyes were wide, and it seemed like he was fumbling for words. Eventually, he said with a reluctance in his face, “I’m Gustav. Or at least, I pretend to be.” He ran a hand through salt and pepper hair. “It’s easier to see a half-elf at the center of the ring instead of a half-orc.”

“Understood,” said Caleb while making a note of the illusion magic. That and the divine bolt from earlier, he already had two problems under the law of the Empire. Identity theft was not something to take lightly.

“Were you lookin’ for work or somethin’?”

For a second, Caleb was offended that this stranger did not recognize him as an officer of the magical law in the Dwendalian, but when he looked down at himself for a moment, he remembered: he was not in his uniform. The only thing he’d brought on this information gathering trip to the carnival had been the warrant of arrest tucked into his belt, and he’d only intended on using it in an emergency and with the aid of the crownsguard. The rest of his things were tucked in his pack at Trostenwald’s inn.

However, working within the carnival itself would be an awfully good way to gather more information on the misuse of magic and gather more details and potentially find more spells for himself…

Before he had a chance to respond, the tall strongwoman from earlier pushed her way into the tent. “Hey, Fjord, Molly’s refusing to take a potion.”

“It’s a waste of _money_!” hollered another voice from what appeared to be an adjacent tent that Caleb didn’t recognize. “He just needs to wait a few minutes, I’m getting to him. I was busy telling Kiri that she and Toya did a wonderful job, I just love them so much!” The side of the tent folded up for a moment as a little blue tiefling slipped underneath the brown burlap. When she stood upright, she started straightening out her skirts. “Let’s go, let’s go.” She ushered the burly woman from the tent.

After the brief commotion, the ringmaster, Fjord rather than Gustav, blinked a few times in Caleb’s direction. “It’s a busy place around here if that’s somethin’ you don’t mind.”

It was something he minded. It was something he hated, really. “I do not mind.”

“Then we’ll check out your skills tomorrow then and see if you wanna be on stage or behind the scenes,” Fjord said, sitting down to take off his clearly well-worn boots. “For tonight, you can try to find Jester, the blue one you just saw, she’ll get you set up with some sleeping quarters.”

“But I-“ He almost mentioned his room at Trostenwald’s inn. He quickly thought better of it. Clearing his throat and nodding, he said, “I will find her.”

“Good. I’ll see you in the mornin’ then, mister, uh… I don’t think I caught your name?”

He could be a very good liar when he wanted to. “Caleb Widogast.” He did not want to lie to this man.

“Well then, Caleb, get a good night’s sleep. We’ll be movin’ out early tomorrow.”

Caleb nodded. “I will see you then.” And he stepped out of the tent quietly, hoping to be noticed as little as possible.

* * *

It took a few tents of asking “Do you know where Jester is?” and “Is Jester in here?” before he heard a shout of “Molly!” in a voice similar to the blue one’s from earlier. Caleb followed the sound tentatively, hoping it was the right one.

He poked his head into a tent and saw a couple of tieflings mid-tussle with the dark-skinned young woman in all blue trying to pull them apart. “Jester, you’re just gonna hurt ‘im more! C’mon!”

The purple one, still not wearing his starlight coat, was on the ground with a smile absolutely plastered across his face. “I’m just fine, my gods! Just get me some liquor and I’ll sleep it off!”

“We are out of booze, Molly! Quit squirming!”

“Then why aren’t we out buying booze?” He tried to wiggle from her grasp one last time, unsuccessfully before she slapped a hand on his face, one finger almost poking his eye out. A soft white glow began to emanate from her hand as Caleb watched the purple one, Molly, begin to heal a bit, some of his bluish bruises fading and a cut on his face sealing up instantly.

It was illegal.

Caleb said nothing.

There was another small commotion as Jester got up, flustered and angry, saying something that seemed rude but also soft in Infernal to which Molly responded with a true demon tongue. Then she was making her way to the door, stopping only when she realized Caleb was in the way. Her face scrunched up, and she said something else low in Infernal before starting with, “Yes, I am Jester, how can I help you?”

“Uh, Mr. Fjord said to speak to you about sleeping arrangements.” He tried to give her his best smile. “I will buy booze, if that is something you require.”

“See? Now this is a guy who gets it.” Molly sat up from behind Jester with a fanged grin. “We give ‘im a room, he gives us booze! I like some good fire whiskey myself, just so you’re aware.” He winked, seemingly not caring about their earlier encounter.

“Understood.”

Jester seemed to evaluate Caleb, looking him up and down. He saw her tail flick much like that of an annoyed cat. “You can stay with Nott because she doesn’t mind stinky people.”

“I am not-“ Caleb didn’t even have the chance to defend himself against the accusation before she was pushing past him and disappearing out into the night. “I am not stinky,” he firmly said to the others still in the tent before turning definitively and following the dark figure of the blue tiefling.

He hadn’t intentionally gotten this dirty, but with traveling from Rexxentrum, he didn’t have much to keep clean with. He had his books tucked in their harnesses and a scroll for the arrest of these people folded into his coat’s breast pocket, but aside from that, he’d tucked away very little on his person.

Some of the tents had come down now as the strongwoman from earlier appeared to be packing things up neatly into a couple of wagons. She didn’t seem to bat an eye at him and Jester as they passed, just focusing on loading boxes. “I’ll help when I am done with the stinky man, Yashaaa.”

In a low voice, Caleb started, “You do not have to announce to everyone-“

“This is your tent.” She stepped off to the side to a smaller tent and pushed open the flap. “Breakfast is at dawn and we leave after that. Try not to snore ‘cause it will scare the horses.”

“I feel like there is a story there.”

“Fjord snores, he scares the horses. Don’t scare the horses, please thanks, oh-kay bye.” She ushered him inside and then disappeared, seemingly back towards where the tall woman had last been.

It was rushed, it was daunting, but he was… in? This was the best way to research this misuse of magic, after all. It would be the best way to understand what schools were being used and who could be held liable and-

“Are you new here?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, Caleb inhaled sharply through his nose and exhaled gently through his mouth before turning to the source of the voice. He looked dead ahead, and seeing nothing, looked down.

Two glowing golden eyes looked up at him. “Of course you’re new here,” came the same scratchy, small voice, seeming ashamed. “I’m sorry, that was a stupid question of me to ask.”

“It is fine.” His brows knit together as his eyes started to adjust to the light and more of her stature took shape in the darkness. She certainly was not a dwarf or a halfling, that was for sure. “I am Caleb. Caleb Widogast.”

“That’s a very professional name.” Caleb winced a bit at her words, but she carried on, “I mean, it just- it’s not like very good for a carnival, that’s all.” She kind of cleared her throat. “But, uh, I’m Nott the Brave. There’s no comma. Just Nott the Brave.”

“So your trick here is that you are, urm, brave, _ja_?”

She scoffed, gold eyes widening. “Gods, no!” Her grimace was that of one who’d been stabbed. “They just- just took me in! I’m not an act, why would you think I’m an act?!”

That was a loaded question. “Erm, uh-“

“I’m a goblin, why would I put myself out on display like that?” The more horrified she looked, the louder she got. “It’s like asking to get taken to jail! I’m not like the others, I’m not a bad one, I’m just- I’m just me…”

Caleb stared for a long moment, blinking, trying to process this. His mouth gaped for the right words.

“But don’t worry, I don’t eat babies. And- And I won’t steal anything from you,” she said, grinning up at him with her mess of jagged teeth. “I will be a perfect roommate!”

It wasn’t much of a room, but she certainly was something of a roommate. “You do not eat cats, do you?” Caleb asked after a heartbeat of a moment, eyeing her up and down with a crinkled nose.

“Not usually,” she replied, seemingly looking him up and down with mutual wariness. “Why?”

Caleb could tell she was lying, but he decided to risk it anyways. He snapped his fingers, a cat appearing at his shoulders. “This is Frumpkin. I am not-“ Pause. Focus. “I was not allowed to have cats at my old home. He is my best friend in this whole world.” The cat rubbed against his scruffy beard. “If we are to be roommates, I would appreciate it very much if you would not eat him.”

Her fingers twitched, and her eyes widened. “Can I pet him?”

“Yes, he is very friendly.” He had to remind Frumpkin to be friendly to the little goblin girl before he handed over the orange tabby.

She took him into her arms, and the fey cat seemed to quickly settle in, tail curled around his form, eyes slowly shutting. “He’s very soft.”

For the first time in a long time, Caleb almost felt confident. Like he’d made a friend. And he hadn’t had one of those in a very long while. “Frumpkin could be our roommate also, if that is alright with you?”

“Of course!” Nott’s face appeared to brighten up. “You may just have to keep him away from Fjord. He’s allergic to cats. They give him the sneezes. It’s really quite violent sometimes. Like an _explosion_ of his _face_.”

A maybe too-genuine smile sprawled across Caleb’s face. “I think Frumpkin and I can manage that.”

**Author's Note:**

> So that's a start. The second chapter is in the works. This is not a Greatest Showman AU, but it borrows a lot of the same concepts.
> 
> Additionally, this is set months after the core group has been together and Caleb is just coming into the party very late here. More will be explained in the next chapter.
> 
> In the meantime, feel free to come talk to me on tumblr at skylarkevanson. Thanks for reading!


End file.
